After a long week, which I started off with a touch of flu, was pulled deeper in my physical misery, by developing an ammonia and bronchitis by Tuesday and was drugged with antibiotics and ventolin. Suddenly I felt very fragile and by Wednesday I was a pitiful left over from the positive thinker, I used to be and my old self was nowhere to be found. Sopping on the edge of my bed, I was trying to breath and was willing to take any medication, as long as I would feel better. Like I said, pitiful… Thank God for hospitals, doctors and time, because by Thursday I was nevertheless still not feeling well, but I surely started to feel better. Friday I had a little set-back, but this morning I feel again somewhat better and on my way to hopefully a quick and full recovery.
These first four weeks of work where kind of frustrating. Not so much because of the work or my colleagues, but because I felt like there was absolutely no support in getting me started. I arrived and was from day one left to find out everything by myself. Now that in itself is not really a problem. As long as you know what you need from an IT point of view, or HR point of view, in order to do a good job. Think of: VPN connections, access to SAP, access to important e-rooms, access to an internal telephone number, understanding of procedures like expenses, time registration, setting up workspaces, etc. etc. etc..
Since I did not know what I needed, the last few weeks I run into these things again and again and again, on which I then had to find out, why I had a problem, what I needed to do about it and mostly how I needed to apply for some kind of access in order to be able to work. It was/is like flying without navigation. Very frustrating as you can understand, especially when the so-called team assistant is simply refusing to, at the very least, let me know what I need to arrange for myself. But this also counts for a simply good morning or how was your weekend. When I asked a few times, the response was given by rolling eyes, smirks and leaving without even answering the question. And now, after 4 weeks, I can only conclude that I have to deal with a complete social incompetent human being, only sensitive to people with executive jobs or personal friends. Something I am allergic too, I must add.
I escalated this, when I found out after 3,5 weeks, that I couldn’t get a home connection to our office network, because I needed special access permission for that. Informing immediately with the team assistant if this had been applied for, I got an e-mail response which simply said: ‘No, you have to do this yourself.’ This for me was the final drop. Not that I had to do this myself, but that I had been asking for three weeks if anybody knew what the problem was in getting connected from home , including the team assistant. And she never told me that I needed to apply for a special connection. No, instead she let me struggling, searching, until I finally find out through another new comer, who did get start-up support from her team assistant! When I tried to explain to my manager that this is simply not acceptable, he said: ‘But what is wrong with her mail?’ Which startled me for a few seconds, but then I responded: ‘Nothing, if she, or anybody else (hint, hint), had told me 4 weeks ago. She doesn’t need to do anything for me, I just want a list of things I need to arrange, so I can finally do what I am hired to do and earn some money! ‘
I don’t think he got it, since I heard that he said to another colleague, who told him that new employees should be helped to get started, that his secretary and I had a incompatibility problem. This in itself, I really find disapointing, especially said by somebody who doesn’t really know me. I only spoke 4 times to her in 4 weeks and never even asked her to do anything for me! Also, I heard from my peers that she has this problem with many people and seems to have a personality problem, which is already known by many, so seeing this as an one-time issue, involing just the two of us, is just putting your head in the sand, in my personal view. Good tactic, but only for a very short while and certainly not a good tactic to have new employees have a fair start.
I also find it amazingly insulting, because interacting with other people, dealing with many different personalities, has become my trade mark in the many companies I worked for, as a freelance journalist and media spokeswoman, but also in my personal life. I am mostly put in positions to work with people, who nobody really like or can work with and to hear that my new manager, who only knows me from a total of 2 hours one-on-one speaking time, believes that this is an incompatibility problem between his secretary and I, has made me lose some initial respect I had towards my new manager. I feel not being taken seriously and most of all, being put in a position which gives a false image of the person I really am. Also, for having a incompatibility issue, you need to have had some kind of interaction or point of difference. In my case, this girl is acting like a spoiled child and lives by her mood swings. Fine with me, but not in a professional environment. You can at least return a good morning. What is wrong with just being kind???
Anyway, I am not letting myself being placed in a little box by that and will just continue to work as the person I am. Soon my manager will see that this incompatibility problem is really an one way street from his secretary, towards anybody who ask something more than she is willing to give, even if it is just a question on how to apply for something. Since new people will come in the coming time, it will be an issue he can't ignore. Further I need to say, he is a decent, smart and really hard working guy, who is also just new in this role, so it is certainly not a matter of willingly reacting like that, I think it is more inexperience and youthfulness. Nothing time cannot fix ;-).
But enough about complaining (although this feels good from time to time hihihi), time to focus ahead and forget about what has been. Next week, I will go for it full speed and will let everybody see what I am made of…
Daswidanja
Niszka
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