Weekend or not...

My weekend has finally started, at least officially. Unofficially I am in for a whole weekend of work. Just another week and then I have to deliver a proposal to a new prospect we are chasing. And there is still so much work to do.

To be honest, being new in this company, I hardly know where to start. Everybody expects me to know everything, where in the company I can find the requested (technical) information, who is good in what and why, what all the company wise used abbreviations mean and most of all how to shape a proposal with a RfP request which is not the easiest to read or understand.

Anyway, that is the deal and I need to fix it before the end of the week. So reading, reading and more reading is lying ahead.

Daswidanja
Niszka

Late

It is late, or early, just as one prefers. Almost 1am and still not sleeping. Not wise, since tomorrow I have to travel to the other side of the country, have a business lunch to prepare a strategic presentation and drive to the middle of our beautiful nation. During all this car driving, I have to prepare for a Sales Review for a new bid I am assigned to. I will be the writer of the team. Last bid I worked on lasted for 2,5 years and in the end we signed 2 contracts worth a total of GBP 125M. Not that I have seen one single penny of this money, no, my reward was to be headhunted by another big ICT company, who were desperately looking for good Business Writers, let’s hope they made the right decision (notch, notch hihihi).

So why can’t I sleep? I don’t think it has anything to do with the fact that I fell asleep in the hot tub this afternoon. ;-) No, that has nothing to do with it, I just have to much energy. I feel I need to write, put stuff out of my head on paper. I have characters who are dying to get born on paper, or into the digital world, so to speak. Who are willing to do anything, just in order to tell the world their story, no matter how perverted or twisted. Sad, hopeless and fearful creatures. So you see, there is no rest for those that need to create, those that need to solve heartbroken promises and committed cruel psychological crimes (I write psychological thrillers amongst others).

And like this my quest continues, for a little while at least. I will go to sleep of course, only not yet. For a little while more I will let my characters take control of my time and see what they will come up with. Maybe they will create the lines for my first bestseller? If not, then at least I will have had some fun. An adventure only I could come up with…

Daswidanja
Niszka

What to write...

One of the hobbies I have is writing. Now I am the kind of writer that likes a diversity of writings. I love to write prose, journalistic articles, some poetry, columns, business writings, but I also enjoy erotic writing. All of the above I publish, frequently, but not the last one, which is a bit strange if you think about it.

So today I decided to change this and send a short story to an erotic e-zine. Who knows, other people may actually like it. Also, it shows a side of me, as a writer, only very few other people know about, maybe that is the part I like most about it. As in all my writings, there are no taboos and no limits, being somebody who hates judgments, rules, boredom and simply following life by an organized route, this fits me best. So wish me luck.

Well, talking about writing, I am due for a deadline in a couple of hours. An article about South–Italy, for a glossy magazine. I interviewed a well-known singer there. She is really great and made a big impression on me with both her voice and her personality. So, writing about her and Italy, isn’t really a punishment. I will meet her again, end of the year in Paris, when she will present her new CD. And after that we will just hit the town to have some girl fun. Can’t wait!

Daswidanja
Niszka

Time to reflect, but not too long… the future is waiting

After a long week, which I started off with a touch of flu, was pulled deeper in my physical misery, by developing an ammonia and bronchitis by Tuesday and was drugged with antibiotics and ventolin. Suddenly I felt very fragile and by Wednesday I was a pitiful left over from the positive thinker, I used to be and my old self was nowhere to be found. Sopping on the edge of my bed, I was trying to breath and was willing to take any medication, as long as I would feel better. Like I said, pitiful… Thank God for hospitals, doctors and time, because by Thursday I was nevertheless still not feeling well, but I surely started to feel better. Friday I had a little set-back, but this morning I feel again somewhat better and on my way to hopefully a quick and full recovery.

These first four weeks of work where kind of frustrating. Not so much because of the work or my colleagues, but because I felt like there was absolutely no support in getting me started. I arrived and was from day one left to find out everything by myself. Now that in itself is not really a problem. As long as you know what you need from an IT point of view, or HR point of view, in order to do a good job. Think of: VPN connections, access to SAP, access to important e-rooms, access to an internal telephone number, understanding of procedures like expenses, time registration, setting up workspaces, etc. etc. etc..

Since I did not know what I needed, the last few weeks I run into these things again and again and again, on which I then had to find out, why I had a problem, what I needed to do about it and mostly how I needed to apply for some kind of access in order to be able to work. It was/is like flying without navigation. Very frustrating as you can understand, especially when the so-called team assistant is simply refusing to, at the very least, let me know what I need to arrange for myself. But this also counts for a simply good morning or how was your weekend. When I asked a few times, the response was given by rolling eyes, smirks and leaving without even answering the question. And now, after 4 weeks, I can only conclude that I have to deal with a complete social incompetent human being, only sensitive to people with executive jobs or personal friends. Something I am allergic too, I must add.

I escalated this, when I found out after 3,5 weeks, that I couldn’t get a home connection to our office network, because I needed special access permission for that. Informing immediately with the team assistant if this had been applied for, I got an e-mail response which simply said: ‘No, you have to do this yourself.’ This for me was the final drop. Not that I had to do this myself, but that I had been asking for three weeks if anybody knew what the problem was in getting connected from home , including the team assistant. And she never told me that I needed to apply for a special connection. No, instead she let me struggling, searching, until I finally find out through another new comer, who did get start-up support from her team assistant! When I tried to explain to my manager that this is simply not acceptable, he said: ‘But what is wrong with her mail?’ Which startled me for a few seconds, but then I responded: ‘Nothing, if she, or anybody else (hint, hint), had told me 4 weeks ago. She doesn’t need to do anything for me, I just want a list of things I need to arrange, so I can finally do what I am hired to do and earn some money! ‘

I don’t think he got it, since I heard that he said to another colleague, who told him that new employees should be helped to get started, that his secretary and I had a incompatibility problem. This in itself, I really find disapointing, especially said by somebody who doesn’t really know me. I only spoke 4 times to her in 4 weeks and never even asked her to do anything for me! Also, I heard from my peers that she has this problem with many people and seems to have a personality problem, which is already known by many, so seeing this as an one-time issue, involing just the two of us, is just putting your head in the sand, in my personal view. Good tactic, but only for a very short while and certainly not a good tactic to have new employees have a fair start.

I also find it amazingly insulting, because interacting with other people, dealing with many different personalities, has become my trade mark in the many companies I worked for, as a freelance journalist and media spokeswoman, but also in my personal life. I am mostly put in positions to work with people, who nobody really like or can work with and to hear that my new manager, who only knows me from a total of 2 hours one-on-one speaking time, believes that this is an incompatibility problem between his secretary and I, has made me lose some initial respect I had towards my new manager. I feel not being taken seriously and most of all, being put in a position which gives a false image of the person I really am. Also, for having a incompatibility issue, you need to have had some kind of interaction or point of difference. In my case, this girl is acting like a spoiled child and lives by her mood swings. Fine with me, but not in a professional environment. You can at least return a good morning. What is wrong with just being kind???

Anyway, I am not letting myself being placed in a little box by that and will just continue to work as the person I am. Soon my manager will see that this incompatibility problem is really an one way street from his secretary, towards anybody who ask something more than she is willing to give, even if it is just a question on how to apply for something. Since new people will come in the coming time, it will be an issue he can't ignore. Further I need to say, he is a decent, smart and really hard working guy, who is also just new in this role, so it is certainly not a matter of willingly reacting like that, I think it is more inexperience and youthfulness. Nothing time cannot fix ;-).

But enough about complaining (although this feels good from time to time hihihi), time to focus ahead and forget about what has been. Next week, I will go for it full speed and will let everybody see what I am made of…

Daswidanja
Niszka

Fighting the flu

I could not have started a new job more miserable as I have done the last couple of weeks. Struggling with flue, sinuses problems, ear infection, throat infection and a constantly itching nose, which sneezed every ten minutes some two to three times, I tried to focus on all the new impressions, expressions, clients, colleagues and other familiar things, surrounding a new job. A little bit insecure I started to explore my new surroundings and fought gigantic traffic jams, seemingly to appear out of nothing and on any given time. Spending an average of five to six other from my home to work and back, is tiring enough, but trust me, there are only so many hours in which one can be focused and not bored by the never ending and full roads.

But today I surrendered and decided to stay home. Expecting to have to go to Belgium today, I was both annoyed as well as happy, that my Belgian colleague, let me know only yesterday evening, that they could manage without me. That I spend a large part of my weekend on reading materials regarding this project, I tried to ignore. At least I could stay home and work on some enhancement plans, I needed to present next week. And so I did. Not that I had any choice, I felt even more miserable this morning. Feeling guilty towards my employer, I have read old proposal materials, and made enhancements notes, which I will put in my presentation. Okay, I am doing it all from out of my mobile office in bed, but further than that, I have done well, I must say. No flue will make me surrender completely, glancing sideways to the with cotton which are silently witnesses of my words implying a little more braveries than the situation really is, but nevertheless I can be proud at myself. Let’s hope tomorrow I will feel a little bit better.

Daswidanja
Niszka

Back into the Ratrace

My first blog and what a better start to begin this new blog in the same week I started my new job. And what a week it was. After a few months of relaxing, thinking and writing, I started last Monday my new job as Business Writer for a large international ICT company. Excited and a bit nervous I step into my car on Monday morning, anxious, but excited to go to my new workplace, which is about a two hour's drive from the place where I live. I wish it would take a lot less time, but heh, the perfect job is unfortunately not always connected to the hipbone.

That it would become a challenge to be at my new workplace, was clear right after the second day. After being in several traffic jams on almost every new interstate I took and seeing more accidents in a day, than I normal saw in a week or maybe even two, I understood that the almost 400 kilometres I made back and forth, was a lot longer than I had ever anticipated. But knowing that the new company I worked for had offices at several location, from which two not so far from the place that I live, I also know that as soon as I have become more up to date with the way my new employer is doing their business, I will be able to work from one of the nearer offices or from home. Also I would need to do some travelling, so the pain from my current travelling, will probably diminish a lot in the near future.

After being for a few months being put on non-active duty by my old employer, as soon as they heard that I had signed a contract with one of their competitors, I was/am very thrilled to be back into the world of outsourcing. I have missed the hectic, yet stressful environment, missed my peers and the intellectual challenge. I have also missed my independence, doing something on my own, without my children or partner. So when I finally arrived at headquarters, I took a deep sigh and stepped inside with as much confidence I could gather, because with all of the great aspects of being a career woman, I also knew that with all the great, interesting and fun parts of my work, also came the hectic, stress, tiredness, desperation, missing my family when being on a project and being constantly aware of being stabbed in the back, because the world of business can be fun and rewarding, but every sun has its moon and every yin has its yang and so with pleasure also comes the pain, collegians' who are jealous, career driven by stepping on heads of others, or simply people who have nothing better to do than tell lies or being just a plain pain in the arse. Everything comes at a price.

Since living in and moving through the world of business can be quite interesting, I have decided to start a blog to tell everybody who is interested, what will be my adventures as a woman, trying to cope in the though business world, as well as taking care of two young children, having a relationship and writing on her second book, while also publishing several articles each year. My world is hectic, dynamic, interesting, tiring, suprising, exciting, from time to time very emotional, but most of all, my world can be very funny.

For now I just keep my fingers crossed, close my eyes and take my first step, back into the Rate Race.

Daswidanja
Niszka